After photographing all sorts of women here is what I’ve found
So the photography industry is like most others, it has evolved and changed and in my opinion – for the better – it’s much more representative of how it shows the diversity in women. Being a woman myself, having some insecurities myself, has definitely made me sensitive and aware of the various issues that various women have regarding their bodies. I’m also an avid researcher, and I’ve also found that in other parts of the world, the female shape is a non-issue. Sweden for example has much fewer conversations on how women look and behave, and what they should and shouldn’t eat and in how many quantities. In other parts breakfasts are enjoyed with pastries and cakes, and many countries have good representation in different sizes for women when it comes to clothing – somehow understanding that not everyone is a size small, and a pair of jeans need to fit well, rise high enough, and be long enough for a taller woman.
When the boudoir shoot genre gained traction it was always to celebrate the female form, not to demean it even more. Wonderbra and Victoria Secret adverts always included only the super skinny among us, and none of that helped the generational- and systemic issues we now all have. It’s ingrained in all of us. It’s as if society attacks us personally daily for being women – having some hips, naturally gaining stretch marks which has become a swear word, being mothers but somehow not coping fully on what it does to us mentally, physically and emotionally, and the ever-ongoing race to be thin, sinister super thin.
And everything I now mention, has been mentioned before. I speak from a place that has already been written down and spoken about millions of times before – in forums, articles, television shows, online. Nothing I say is new – knowing that there is an impact on (the frequently used) mental, physical and emotional aspects of us, is old news, so much so that it’s expected of us to start to get over that too. The fact that it impacts us we should now also stay quiet about, accept and every day, just do even better, no matter the amount of damage, issues or fears we have.
Walking through life with it around us and among us and inside of us, would be easy to just say it’s the human experience. But it’s whatever women are and experience, and it can truly get exhausting.
I don’t want to diminish the struggles many men go through too. It’s exactly why I stress that all of us have something, somewhere – that society gave us to carry. But seeing how it’s still a race to be as thin as possible for women, and to now – stay trendy too, make sure to dry brush and face yoga and detox and and…and…….and
It’s as if we change, there will be nothing to criticize us for….but it’s never enough, and what I’ve found in my many years if doing boudoir shoots with various women, in all sizes and shapes, is that even the thinnest amongst us, have some past pain and issues because of perhaps someone telling them from the other perspective that they were way too thin and should perhaps eat more.
The only outcome we have, is acceptance. Which is an everyday struggle and often huge leaps forward and then quite a few back too. Acceptance will look different at different stages of your life as well.
So what I’ve learned is that small, thin and tiny girls have visited my studio too, and even they – are not fully happy or completely content with their shape and looks. There is always something, and it usually is not because of a small trivial issue, it’s because of a historic moment, when someone said something and it stuck in the corners of their lady minds. The female mind is a prison, and we wish it weren’t so. I’ve also learned that sometimes beautifully thick as it’s now called – women visit too, and some of them are super comfortable in their skin. So I’ve come to the conclusion – it’s never what you look like on the outside, but definitely about your level of acceptance of yourself internally. After photographing all sorts of women here is what I’ve found – that acceptance is tough, most probably will be a lifelong journey for most of us.
The old saying of always being kind because you never know what anyone else is currently perhaps going through, is very correct. We just don’t practice it, because everyone has to wake up, and sort of go through life with a bit of armor, otherwise the hard world won’t make us survive that day. That hard armor doesn’t always make us kind day to day, so yes – we do meet people and we do something get abrasive without even realizing it, because the only thing we were doing in that moment, was surviving the day as well, as tough as we could. We didn’t always switch into kindness mode when someone needed it for a second, so it doesn’t always happen, so many people get the worst of us even if we don’t intend it.
But knowing that it is now clear to me, that it certainly isn’t about how you look, but how you feel secured on the inside, makes it a little bit easier to accept. And we’re a lot of women, the world is full of them, it’s a big ship to turn around. And maybe it’ll never happen so I’m conveying only what I’ve observed.
Also, thin ladies visiting the studio and also have some boy issues, and that often beautiful chunky and curvier women, sometimes feel great about themselves. So it’s never about how we look, it’s about how we feel. After photographing all sorts of women here is what I’ve found – that it’s about an internal feeling, and not an external degree of beauty at all.
So this has been revolutionary to me as a photographer, and I’ve learned to also be careful and aware when complimenting women, because they might not see a generic compliment as something of value but something that has perhaps been systematically used to also make them feel less.
It is indeed a minefield, what should we say then? Out of ignorance we can always compliment, but don’t just feel you understand any person’s position or perspective on something when you haven’t heard their story a little. And also try to be open to listening, when someone perhaps doesn’t take your compliment in the best way – it may truly be a trigger for them and it really could set off an emotion we never expected, we thought we did good at the time.
Photographing women is a true joy for me, because I get to see huge diversity in body shapes, personality types and differences in history – we all have had a different path, and I get to work with different women who all have a different story.
I feel privileged to have that as my job, and I learn so much every time I photograph someone new. Everyone approaches their personal relationships differently, everyone has, at any point in time, many various things to deal with and from everyone, you can get some insight, help, and some interests or things both the photographer and client have in common. After photographing all sorts of women here is what I’ve found – that is a golden thread that runs through all of us, no matter who you are.
That very special process, I find fondly precious. Some good choices I have made on various things in my life have come from clients’ advice, and even if some clients only made for good conversation at the time, I still count it a great and memorable shoot.
The actual shoot itself is also where some magic lies, because what they receive as an end-product, is a breathtaking self-moment.
I have received the utmost beautiful of Google reviews from grateful clients, but I too – am grateful in turn.
I learn so much from each of these women. And I’m grateful for the bouts of time I get to spend with them. It’s enough to make an everlasting impression on me.
The boudoir shoot is designed to make the woman who wants to go ahead with her brave choice, feel better, feel lighter and just have a healthy morale boost. It truly is a great moment for me, everytime when I receive a mail or call, that the photos are incredible.
I love my craft, and I’m always seeking new methods and ways to do creative shoots for my clients – giving them an extraordinary end-product that’s modern, moody like my style – but done in such a way that they only see the best part of themselves.
We’re an incredibly complicated species, we process and observe and feel pain and get triggered, and we also heal and feel joy and somehow, are able to pass that along too.
See more of Loci Photography’s boudoir shoots here.
Loci Photography showcases its wonderful, work as well as the unique Nicolassi pieces on beautiful Pinterest boards, see them here.
Yolandi Jacobsz
Specialized Photographer, Loci Photography
Couturier
